I suggested to someone that we go get coffee. What the hell?! I never initiate. I suddenly feel 100x more stupid, fat, ugly, lazy, and bad than I usually feel.
It will be obvious that… 
What did I do?! Ugh, no one should like me!
I’m afraid he is going to think: 
On the off-chance he does like me a meaningful relationship requires me to let go of my eating disorder, talking about feelings in real life, and not isolate myself.
On one hand, I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship. On the other hand, if I never try, I’ll never get better at talking about feelings and leaving the house.
Masochist Musing 
I think you should go. Good luck and sending you good wishes!
Thanks! I need it! I’m planning on going. I’m not planning on ditching him like the other guy. Then again, I didn’t plan on ditching the other guy. He is worth the anxiety. There is a chance his sadism rises to the level of my masochism without being a sociopath. Plus, he lives in town and he is a doctor.
He definitely sounds good. Keep us updated?
I will! It is tomorrow after class. Since I never have classes on Friday, I don’t need to worry about anything academic tomorrow afternoon.
And he is cute (which is lower down on the list of things I care about, but it is a perk)