Today Everyone Hates School as Much as I Do!


Yesterday everyone panicked, which was nice because I felt better about my sorry state. This morning, my section’s first class was Legal Research and Writing. It was hilarious. Our professor enters the room and says, “I’m really looking forward to reading your papers!” Everyone laughs, then she says, “Well, that doesn’t sound good…”

Later she said not to worry about our 2nd brief until next week. We should get some sleep, catch up on the other classes we’ve been ignoring, and do something nice for ourselves. It was funny because it is true! No one has slept or read for other classes. In fact, in Contracts on Tuesday, the professor tried to cold call people, but they kept passing! Everyone was dead tired this morning and not really paying attention. Of course, she noticed and laughed, “You guys are thinking you don’t pay me enough for this.” HAHA, THAT IS RIGHT, WE PAY YOU!

As we left a boy said, “Yeah, we won’t be working on LRW. I think we all have some soul-searching to do!” I felt more comradery with them than I usually feel. Felicia Day_it is easy to bond over hating something together

She is my favorite professor. She said she won’t be with us at internships, so we need to be confident. Then she said, she’ll respond to emails or frantic calls over the summer, but she won’t necessarily be able to help because of the area of law. I thought that was incredibly sweet! I’ve never had a professor say they can help after the class is over!

Plus, she ended with good news. She said our writing program is more rigorous than most law school’s LRW. In fact, she hears from employers saying graduates from our school are exceptionally good at writing briefs and motions, even students who got Cs in LRW. 🙂

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No Law School Motivation? Problem solved!


LMFAO! My Legal Research and Writing Professor is freaking awesome!

Photo_00013

No wonder lawyers are evil: Law School Hell


Wolfram and Hart

I never thought lawyers were evil. Nonetheless, I have a ton more respect for them; this sucks on so many levels. So far, today is pointless. I didn’t study at all yesterday or on Thanksgiving. I haven’t studied at all today. I woke up at 9 am, or rather I was woken up. I only got 5 hours of sleep. It was my fault (or maybe Terry Goodkind’s fault 😉 ) I was too busy reading The Third Kingdom to sleep. I kept telling myself, “At the end of this chapter I’ll go to bed. I need to sleep; I won’t be able to study tomorrow!” That didn’t happen until the end of the book.

How Law School makes me feel...

How I wish I felt about my first law school exams (yay, forced curve -.- )Angel_spine trophies pwr2

How I actually feel…

Bored nowLost_Locke there is not helping meLost_I'll fail Buffy_blah blah blah1hellAngel_violence

What I wish was possible…

BooksDark Willow

Trying to summon strength…

Face of Resolve 

I can’t force myself to study. I wish I could focus…

sleepy slayer max tears1

But in the end

Dollhouse_I'm just a series of excuses 

care

I admit this is not a substantive post. It is just me complaining, in GIF form, about things I shouldn’t be complaining about. Probably because it was fun-ish to waste a few hours finding or making these GIFs.

Maybe…

thrilling heroics

aka face my fear of failure and not being smart enough. Knowing myself, I’ll still be online in 5 hours.

We all can be only what we are


Ugh! I barely did any work yesterday. I skimmed over the reading for one of Monday’s classes. Granted, I rarely even do that. However, in order to pull this miracle off, I need to do much more than that paltry amount of studying.

The paper worth 40% of my grade is due at midnight. I have a sad, pathetic draft. Last time I had the worst grade in the class on the paper because I didn’t start it until the day it was due. I knew the work I was turning in was sub-par. I knew it was awful! However, I underestimated my classmates because I have a $40,000 merit scholarship and my LSAT score was above the 75 percentile for my school. I’m not used to having to work for grades. I made it to Psi Chi without working hard and I maintained my academic scholarship all 4 years undergrad.

God, I know I sound horrible. How can I complain about not having to work hard for grades and getting a bad grade because I underestimated my peers? I knew my classmates were smart, but despite my self-loathing and insisting I am “stupid”, I’m not used to being compared to people as smart as me. I went to academically excelled schools throughout my education, but still…by virtue of the bell curve, 90% of the people I meet are not as smart as me. I know you can’t tell from my word choice and grammar. :p Therefore, I relied on the forced academic curve to maybe give me a B- for my bad paper. Nope… it was barely a C-. Now I fear I am not smart enough for law school. Actually, logically I know that is false. I am smart enough for law school. I don’t know if I am smart enough to pass the semester after not reading for almost the entire semester and cramming it all in 2 weeks. Plus, mental illness is evil and I don’t react to emotions the same as others.

*sigh* I know my self-pitying rambling is pointless. It won’t help me pass. The only thing that will save me is focusing on the solution and not the problem. It is so fraking hard to do that though! My mind gets consumed with fear and I freeze. I am simultaneously afraid of failure and success. AHAHA, if I didn’t have mental illnesses, I’d be unstoppable. I need to stop feeling sad about what could be and focus on what IS.

We may not all be capable of being the Mother Confessor, but I must heed her words…

"We all can be only what we are, nothing more, or less." - Kahlan Amnell

“We all can be only what we are, nothing more, or less.” – Kahlan Amnell

I’ve made mistakes. I’m not perfect. Yet, I need to look past my flaws and not let my fears paralyze me.